So, since we have almost a foot of snow on the ground here, and I’m home from work until Wednesday, I have not felt guilty at all about watching a lot of tv. Today, I watched Bright Lights, which is an HBO documentary about Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds. In all, it was not all that enlightening, nor was it a fantastic piece of filmmaking-if anything, it made me realized how really screwed up Carrie Fisher was. But, Carrie Fisher had a great question. “If you die fat, do you come back as a fat ghost?”
I thought this was funny. I pictured a bunch of really fat ghosts who can’t quite fit through walls and when they go through narrow doorways, parts of their ephemeral bodies go through the walls as well. Or, seeing a ghost sit on a chair and have parts of them hang off the sides.
But, then I thought a little more seriously. What if those of us who are heavy in life are punished for our gluttony by remaining so in the afterlife? Maybe that is God’s justice–we mistreated our temple, so now we must haunt in our brokedown palace. There are many ideas of heaven, and one that I see quite often is of everyone returning to a better time in their lives–missing limbs are replaced, beauty is restored, and souls live in perpetual youth and beauty. Perhaps that is what is meant by heaven? But what of those who were misfigured from birth? Do they remain so, and thus remain ugly? Or does ugliness not exist in heaven, because it is a perfect place? Or, do we go as we died–old, fat, crippled. Well, frankly, if that is the afterlife, I don’t want to live the way I live now–I want what I can’t do now. So, I would prefer the thin and beautiful.
However, I also like the idea of a fat ghost. Perhaps, they would be more friendly than a normal ghost, perhaps equated with Santa Claus. Fat and jolly. Plus, as a fat ghost, you could be a warning for those you haunt–appetite control from the other side. I see new ads for Nutri-System. “Lose it now, or live your afterlife like this” with a picture of a morbidly obese ghost. New products marketed as “the death diet” making sure you look good in your shroud and chains.
But how do you measure BMI on something noncorporeal?